When parents separate, one of the most important things they have to decide is who will have legal custody of their child. Legal custody is all about decision-making rights for big issues in a child’s life, like health care, education, and religion. You may ultimately decide that there are more reasons for sole legal custody or you may decide in your case shared legal custody is the better option. This article will help you understand five key factors to consider when making decisions about legal custody so you can create a plan that works best for everyone involved — especially your child.
1. Think About Communication and Cooperation
One of the first things to consider is how well you and the other parent communicate and work together. Joint legal custody requires both parents to discuss and agree on major decisions for their child. If you’re able to talk openly, share ideas, and come to agreements without a lot of conflict, joint legal custody might be a good option.
However, if communication is a challenge, sole legal custody could be easier. In this case, one parent would have the right to make big decisions for the child without needing approval from the other. This can be helpful when parents have trouble agreeing, but it’s still important to keep the other parent informed about decisions that affect the child.
Example: Sarah and Mark are co-parents to an 8-year-old named Emma. They communicate well and respect each other’s opinions, so they agreed on joint legal custody. They set up monthly check-ins to discuss any big decisions and keep each other updated, which helps keep everything smooth.
2. Consider Each Parent’s Involvement in the Child’s Life
When deciding on legal custody, think about each parent’s involvement in the child’s life. Does one parent handle most of the day-to-day tasks, or are both parents equally involved? If both parents are very active in the child’s life, joint legal custody could make sense, as both would naturally want to stay involved in important decisions.
On the other hand, if one parent has been the primary caregiver while the other has been less involved, sole legal custody might be more practical. This setup can simplify decision-making and allow the parent who is more involved to handle things without constant discussions.
Example: Jamie and Lisa are co-parents to a 6-year-old, Max. Jamie has been Max’s primary caregiver and is very involved in his school and doctor visits. Lisa lives in a different city and doesn’t see Max as often. They decided that Jamie would have sole legal custody to make it easier for her to make decisions without needing to consult Lisa for every choice.
3. Prioritize What’s Best for Your Child’s Well-Being
The most important factor when deciding on legal custody is what’s best for your child. Think about what setup will provide them with stability, support, and a sense of security. This may mean joint legal custody if both parents are committed to making choices that support the child’s best interests.
For example, if your child has a medical condition, you may want to ensure both parents can make decisions about their health care. On the other hand, if a lot of back-and-forth would be stressful for the child, sole legal custody might be better to keep things simple.
Example: Clara and Daniel are co-parents to a 10-year-old with asthma. Because they both want to be involved in her health care and need to make quick decisions at times, they chose joint legal custody. This way, they can work together to make the best choices for her health.
4. Think About Each Parent’s Strengths
Another thing to consider is each parent’s strengths and experiences. Sometimes, one parent has more experience or knowledge in certain areas, like education or health care. In these cases, parents might choose joint legal custody but agree that one parent will take the lead in certain areas.
For instance, if one parent is a teacher, they might take the lead on school-related decisions. This doesn’t mean the other parent has no say, but they can trust the other’s knowledge and experience to guide them.
Example: Tom and Michelle are co-parents to a 12-year-old named Ava. Tom is a doctor, so Michelle trusts him to take the lead on health care decisions. They still have joint legal custody, but they agreed that Tom would make the final call on medical issues, while Michelle takes the lead on Ava’s school choices. These are called having “spheres of control” within the context of shared legal custody.
5. Consider How You’ll Handle Disagreements
Even if you have a great relationship with your co-parent, disagreements can still happen. Think about how you’ll handle conflicts if they come up. Will you meet with a mediator, or have regular check-ins to work through decisions? Planning for these moments ahead of time can help keep things respectful and productive.
If both parents can’t agree on all major decisions, but mostly see eye to eye, they might decide to have joint legal custody but agree to work with a mediator when conflicts arise. On the other hand, if disagreements are constant, hard to manage, and happen in front of your child all too often, these may be a reasons for sole legal custody. It just might be more practical and calmer for everyone.
Example: Sandra and Greg are co-parents to a 9-year-old named Ben. They chose joint legal custody but agreed that if they can’t reach a decision, they’ll meet with a mediator to find a solution. This plan helps them avoid conflict and make decisions calmly.
Final Thoughts: Choosing the Right Type of Legal Custody
Choosing the right type of legal custody is all about finding what works best for your child and your family. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” solution, but by thinking through these five factors, you can create a custody arrangement that supports your child’s happiness and well-being. If you and your coparent simply cannot agree on anything and you live far away from each other, these may be good reasons for sole legal custody. If you are both very involved and more or less can see eye to eye on the bigger issues when it comes to your children, shared legal custody may make better sense.
To recap, consider your ability to communicate, each parent’s involvement, your child’s best interests, each parent’s strengths, and how you’ll handle disagreements. Whether you choose joint legal custody, where both parents share responsibility, or sole legal custody, where one parent makes the big decisions, the goal is to create a stable, supportive environment for your child.
By planning ahead and keeping the focus on your child’s needs, you can make legal custody decisions that work for everyone involved and set your family up for a positive co-parenting journey.
